Fashionista and The Frog: Dating Troubles of a Fashion Blogger

Pictures from my trip to Montreal and Drunken weekends.

As young women we have this idea that when we go to college we will meet our college sweetheart; the scholar, the jock, the potential Steve Jobs perhaps? Some women go on to accomplish this goal while the rest of us are still out here looking for Nemo. Now I get it, its 2013 and we women folk shouldn't be thinking about love lives but our careers. Unfortunately, nobody ever warns you or tells you how awkward and challenging it is to date when you leave college. College is like our prime, when else do you have the opportunity to find a man who has no kids, wife, baby mama drama etc.?  It seems to me, from personal experience, that once you leave that realm of higher learning dating is like swimming in a pool full of nails.

1.      The Friendly Blind date: RUN! Although your best friend knows you like the back of her hand, they NEVER will find a good date/hookup/bf for you. Their intentions are good but usually it turns out that the person is absolutely nothing like you expected and are different than what you expected. For example, a good friend of mine had been trying to hook me up with someone for years. Constantly asking me what my dating standards and requirements were I finally folded and told her. NOW listen up kids, the individual was pretty much everything I look for; good job, college educated, single, and no offspring. BUT when we met I felt utterly disappointed, not only did the individual not look like their picture, but was the total opposite of me. In order to cope I got completely hammered and made out with said individual (along with another person I met at the bar) which made me gain a stage five clinger. Despite my clear disinterest this person continued to contact me, take me out, and buy me a fancy present.  Eventually I let them down easy which is never really easy. Lesson learned, don’t trust your friend’s with your dating life.

1. 2.       Online Dating: Besides catfish, people never ever ever seem to be anything like what they put on their profile. They seem to leave out the MOST IMPORTANT things such as, I live with my parents, I am religious zealot, and I have a child. I won’t say online dating can’t be successful; I had a good experience once.  It was my first interracial experience with an Asian man and it was beautiful, but that’s a whole other topic. My main problem with online dating is you never know what you’re getting until you meet up. For example, I went on a lunch date with an individual I met on Ok! Cupid. From their profile I learned that they were college educated, vegan, into fitness, had a steady income, and they were FINE! So I waited for them at the bar, they were twenty minutes late, and then when they walked in I nearly fell off my chair. This possibly couldn't be who I was meeting. Not only were they late but they were fat (unlike the picture), a receding hairline (LeBron?), and the worst teeth I ever seen (they did have braces though). Immediately I put on game face and said “You’re late!” Surprisingly the date went well for most of the meal until they divulged that they were a 10 per-center (wtf? Is that), a Black radical (who believes that Blacks should marry Blacks only and went on to say I don’t count because I am mixed), never finished college (why even lie), and lastly gave me a lecture on my Blackness. Talk about the date from hell. Lesson learned: you should probably avoid online dating unless you enjoy meeting radicals and complete nut-jobs.

1. 3.       The Older Man: Older men are my kryptonite. George Clooney, Richard Gere, or Patrick Dempsey; salt and pepper hair just does it for me. Age isn't a problem for me, I enjoy the age gap. I’m rather cultured and enjoy spending time with someone who has the same tastes as I, which is usually 27 and older ( occasionally I find myself drooling over the super cute college freshman).  The main thing to be wary of when dating older men is married men and divorced men with young children; they are tricky fellows to spot at times but you will know. To make a long story short, finding a genuine older man is just as challenging as finding a genuine man in your age range. One fine summer day I met a man at the beach. He was cute, Italian, a little short but he was pretty jacked. Turns out he was 40, but I wasn't discouraged. He didn't have a wedding band on so I gladly took his number down. Over the next few weeks we text back and forth, sent each other pictures (no nudes) and finally picked a day for the first date. It was amazing; he was such a gentleman and took me everywhere I wanted to go. At the end of the night he walked me home and had a PG kiss, maybe PG-13. The following week I barely heard from him, which made me feel like I blew it, another one gone. But, I was wrong that Friday he text me and sent me the infamous DICK PIC. I was horrified! I don’t like when any man sends me random nudes, especially after the first date! Like thank you for clearly letting me know all you want is my vajay. I gladly text him a LOL, and never spoke to him again. No wonder why he was 40, single, with no kids. Lesson learned: do not let the age gap exceed 7 years.

                My friends say I’m single because I’m picky and I have unrealistic standards. Oh I’m sorry I didn't realize being single, with no kids, and financially stable were outlandish. I guess since everybody is shouting CHIVALRY IS DEAD maybe I am a tad bit unreasonable.  Maybe I am a little shallow when it comes to physical features, but you won’t be swept off your feet by someone who clearly doesn't take care of themselves. I mean seriously, why is it okay that men expect us to have these wifely qualities when they will not tdo the bare minimum. Are you kidding?????? Clearly I’m no expert but you’ve got to give a little to take a little.

So maybe relationships shouldn’t be my priority, I have a cat, my vibrator works just fine…what more do I need? Ha, WRONG! Nothing is shittier than when every other week another college friend is engaged, married, just moved in with her boyfriend, or is in a new relationship. Excuse me while I drown myself in Pinot Grigio and watch Julia Robert’s movies. Ok, it isn’t a life crisis but it makes me wonder what the heck is wrong with me? Why do all my friends have amazing partners and I keep meeting losers?

                As the resourceful individual I am I turned to Google for an answer; help for single black women. Honestly, most of the stuff I read online about why Black women are single left me absolutely confused. I wasn’t sure if I should never date black men, be less of a bitch, or lower my standards. I mean whoever writes these columns for us are just not meeting the mark. So I took my love life into my own little hands and encountered the most interesting men/ women ever. Thus, I’d like to call this all the situations young single women should probably avoid or navigate extremely carefully.

They say you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince, and maybe that’s true. I guess only time will tell. This post grad dating life is like finding a needle in a hay stack, impossible and frustrating. However, I’ll keep my hopes up, wine glass filled, and standards high because somewhere out there is my soul mate. As sappy as that sounds, I’m still a hopeless romantic despite my track record. Among all these frogs, there must be a prince.

Creep on!!

Camera Shy

Dress: Century 21

Photography By: Mitchel Strother

As a blogger, I take my own photos, or I usually ask my mom or friends to take them. However, standing in front of the camera of a photographer makes me very very nervous. I took these photos a month ago with a wonderful photographer named Michel Strother. He is very professional, friendly, and fun. 

Although I was super shy and nervous he managed to take beautiful photos of me. I guess practice makes perfect and I must work on my poses and "smising" (Tyra Banks Reference)

Check out his facebook page in the link above if you are in the NY/NJ area!

Creep on!!

Top: Gap

Skirt: Gap

Makeup: Color Me Perfect by Ebonie Marie

I've been feeling very romantic lately...

I'm not in love, nor do I desire to be.

I just am addicted to French Romance films,

they make me smile.

I love love..and compassion.

I like having butterflies and blushing.

I enjoy seeing others in love, and platonic love.

I enjoy failed romantic pursuits, and having an affair with chocolate.

Love is everywhere, and I am currently drowning myself in it from within.

Journeys in Shopping

Dress: Ann Taylor

Shoes: Anne Klein

I bought this dress over spring break on a shopping trip with my Mami and Aunt. 

Now first and foremost I must say...I HATE SHOPPING! Mostly because I can never ever seem to find pants that fit over my ass! I know what your thinking...what ass? But do not be fooled I have some junk in the trunk that never seems to fit in pants. 

My journey first started in Zara, I was looking for an outfit to wear to a birthday party that night and I really wanted to wear high waisted pants. I grabbed a few trousers in Zara to try on in my usual size, a size 6. Lord have mercy! I could not even get the pants past my thighs. So I opted for a pair of wide leg trousers in a size 8; another epic fail. Reluctantly, I grabbed a size 10 in a pair of high waisted leggings and they were far too big! After that I stood in the mirror in my bra and panties and just stared at myself. I was defeated. I've seen many curvy girls wearing these looks and for the life of me I could not find a single pair of pants to fit me. 

Standing in the mirror I analyzed my ass and thighs wondering why they refused to fit into my dream trousers. Feverishly putting my clothes back on I threw the pants on the rack and headed to Topshop where I hoped to find the perfect jean. Boy was I wrong, nothing seemed to fit me right! They made my ass look flat instead of accentuating it, not to mention I spent nearly 10 minutes squeezing myself in them. Once again, my curves were fighting me refusing to fit into any pants. Here I was in one of the most popular stores among women and I was unsatisfied. I had a severe case of muffin top and my booty had disappeared! Looking in the mirror I hated my curves I was disgusted that I could not find a pair of trendy pants! WHY was it fair that everyone else could enjoy these looks but I couldn't?

Fast forward two days later, I was in Ann Taylor with my Mami and Aunt browsing the racks. Purposely avoiding all pants when I came across the fabulous dress I am wearing in the photo above. Immediately, I thought DVF on a budget. I grabbed it and headed to the dressing room. While changing I did my best to avoid my reflection after the horrible experience I had a few days earlier. However, when I saw myself in the dress I fell in love. It accentuated my whole body! The way it hugged my curves and slimmed my waist brought a smile to my face. Finally it clicked, not every trend works for every body type. It is okay if you can't wear certain things because style isn't based on trend its based on you inner creativity and how you feel. So this time around when I looked in the mirror in my bra and panties I smiled. Ok, maybe I dropeed it like its hot a few times, but that isn't the point. The point is I had to accept that this is my body. I am not a size 0 and I have curves and they aren't going anywhere. 

Every body type is different, and it isn't what you wear its how you wear it.

Creep On!

xoxo

Recovery

Top: Old Navy

Pants: Leopard Jumpsuit old

Shoes: Anne Klein from Macy's

Lipstick: MAC lip pencil in Nightmoth

Hair! Growing up women are taught that having luscious locks is what beauty. Everyone wants to have long hair blowing in the wind. Curly girls want to have long straight hair that does not shrink up at the sight of water. The moral of the story is that at young age it is implanted in our minds that our hair is our crown and glory. Now not every woman wants to have short hair and not every woman wants to have long hair. However, sometimes we encounter situations that will force us to leave our comfort zone into dangerous territory, which is what happened to me.

First and foremost I have had short hair a few times in my life. I am talking bald, no hair whatsoever. In a year and a half I managed to grow a large curly mane and I pretty much abused it. I colored it blue, purple, blonde etc. Unfortunately, recently I had decided to put a relaxer in my hair in order for it to be permanently straight. As a result my hair began to fall out immensely and I had to patches of missing hair on my head. I was absolutely devastated that a hairdresser had done such a horrible thing to my head. 

Although I could have saved my hair and kept my length I decided it was best to hack off all the damage. At first I wanted to cry, I had took almost two years to grow my hair and it made me feel sexy and beautiful. My hair had become my security blanket. Then I took a step back and reminded my self of all the bold style choices I made and how fearless I was and that just because my hair was falling out I shouldn't feel any less attractive. 

Thus, cutting my hair for the third time has once again made me feel liberated. As women sometimes we get so caught up on certain standards instead of taking a leap. There are days when I wake up and just think of all of my flaws instead of pointing out all of the great things about me, physically as well as mentally. If you want to change your look go for it, do not think that in order for a woman to be beautiful you must have long hair. Yes, it may be an emotional process and a few tears may be shed but you are still gorgeous. 

xoxoxox

Creep

Disaster

I am suffering from severe hair breakage.

This is probably my last post with hair.

RIP to my ponytail.

Skirt: Thrifted

Top: Gap

Lets Talk Beauty

Get Naked!

Okay, do not strip down to your birthday suit; this is a beauty post.

I say get naked because I want you to strip away that makeup!

Lately, I have been trying my hardest to minimize my use of makeup in order to see how my skin would react. As a young lady with oily skin I am prone to breakouts and major shine!

I have always used foundation in order to hide my blemishes as well as create the illusion that I have flawless skin. In addition, I am a beauty product junkie so I am always tempted to try new products as well.

Thus, for the new year I wanted to see if decreasing my makeup use would affect my skin and it did! I have experienced less breakouts and redness. However, instead of piling on the foundation I have opted just for bronzer, lipstick, and mascara. Today, I opted for a bare face with no bronzer or foundation. I simply penciled in my eyebrows , lined my lips with brown pencil, and applied dark beige lipstick. I still have a fresh natural look that simply enhances my beauty.

Beauty Staples by creeperchic featuring lancôme

Lancôme
lordandtaylor.com

Lancôme
bloomingdales.com

Lancôme
lordandtaylor.com

Neutrogena
target.com

Korre
$11 - asos.com

Cetaphil beauty product
target.com

As for my beauty regimen I start my day by washing my face with either Neutrogena beauty bar or the grapefruit acne wash. Once a week I will do a face mask; my favorite is the Lancome Pure Empreinte Masque. However, I sometimes switch it up and use Juara Rose & Willow Bark Blemish Free Mask. After washing my face I apply  Soap & Glory's Dr. Spot on my blemishes and follow up with Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream which I have been using since I was 8 years old! It is great for dry and sensitive skin and also for the winter months. Although I have oily skin I like using a heavy cream like Cetaphil because it keeps my skin soft and moisturized throughout the day. If I use a lighter cream my skin gets irritably  dry!  On the days I really want to apply make up I use Lancome Star Bronzer and sweep Lancome Hypnose Doll lashes on my top lashes only. I use Korres lip butter daily to keep my lips soft and moisturized; it also adds a lovely hint of color.

What are your beauty staples? Do you think you can go without makeup? What are your beauty challenges?

Creep On!!!

Serendipity

According to the dictionary serendipity is a happy accident. To be more specific it is an occurrence of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. After a tumultuous year in 2012 I finally feel as if I have turned over a new leaf. Finally, I have encountered bliss and happiness in not just my professional life but my personal life as well.   Many people don't believe in good luck or things of that nature but I always remain open to all possibilities. For the most part I have become more optimistic and have gained more confidence in myself. Plenty of times I have limited myself because I cared too much of what people think of me, but eventually you realize you are unhappy and just delaying your destiny. Believing in my dreams and not being afraid of what people think of me was the first step in the right direction for me. Even if you do not believe in good luck or serendipity this series of happy accidents in the past few months have brought me much joy and I encourage you to open up you heart to all the possibilities.

Dress: Forever 21

Vest: Gap (old/diy)

Boots: Calvin Klein

Bag: Abercrombie 

Bracelet: Pandora