Fashionista and The Frog: Dating Troubles of a Fashion Blogger

Pictures from my trip to Montreal and Drunken weekends.

As young women we have this idea that when we go to college we will meet our college sweetheart; the scholar, the jock, the potential Steve Jobs perhaps? Some women go on to accomplish this goal while the rest of us are still out here looking for Nemo. Now I get it, its 2013 and we women folk shouldn't be thinking about love lives but our careers. Unfortunately, nobody ever warns you or tells you how awkward and challenging it is to date when you leave college. College is like our prime, when else do you have the opportunity to find a man who has no kids, wife, baby mama drama etc.?  It seems to me, from personal experience, that once you leave that realm of higher learning dating is like swimming in a pool full of nails.

1.      The Friendly Blind date: RUN! Although your best friend knows you like the back of her hand, they NEVER will find a good date/hookup/bf for you. Their intentions are good but usually it turns out that the person is absolutely nothing like you expected and are different than what you expected. For example, a good friend of mine had been trying to hook me up with someone for years. Constantly asking me what my dating standards and requirements were I finally folded and told her. NOW listen up kids, the individual was pretty much everything I look for; good job, college educated, single, and no offspring. BUT when we met I felt utterly disappointed, not only did the individual not look like their picture, but was the total opposite of me. In order to cope I got completely hammered and made out with said individual (along with another person I met at the bar) which made me gain a stage five clinger. Despite my clear disinterest this person continued to contact me, take me out, and buy me a fancy present.  Eventually I let them down easy which is never really easy. Lesson learned, don’t trust your friend’s with your dating life.

1. 2.       Online Dating: Besides catfish, people never ever ever seem to be anything like what they put on their profile. They seem to leave out the MOST IMPORTANT things such as, I live with my parents, I am religious zealot, and I have a child. I won’t say online dating can’t be successful; I had a good experience once.  It was my first interracial experience with an Asian man and it was beautiful, but that’s a whole other topic. My main problem with online dating is you never know what you’re getting until you meet up. For example, I went on a lunch date with an individual I met on Ok! Cupid. From their profile I learned that they were college educated, vegan, into fitness, had a steady income, and they were FINE! So I waited for them at the bar, they were twenty minutes late, and then when they walked in I nearly fell off my chair. This possibly couldn't be who I was meeting. Not only were they late but they were fat (unlike the picture), a receding hairline (LeBron?), and the worst teeth I ever seen (they did have braces though). Immediately I put on game face and said “You’re late!” Surprisingly the date went well for most of the meal until they divulged that they were a 10 per-center (wtf? Is that), a Black radical (who believes that Blacks should marry Blacks only and went on to say I don’t count because I am mixed), never finished college (why even lie), and lastly gave me a lecture on my Blackness. Talk about the date from hell. Lesson learned: you should probably avoid online dating unless you enjoy meeting radicals and complete nut-jobs.

1. 3.       The Older Man: Older men are my kryptonite. George Clooney, Richard Gere, or Patrick Dempsey; salt and pepper hair just does it for me. Age isn't a problem for me, I enjoy the age gap. I’m rather cultured and enjoy spending time with someone who has the same tastes as I, which is usually 27 and older ( occasionally I find myself drooling over the super cute college freshman).  The main thing to be wary of when dating older men is married men and divorced men with young children; they are tricky fellows to spot at times but you will know. To make a long story short, finding a genuine older man is just as challenging as finding a genuine man in your age range. One fine summer day I met a man at the beach. He was cute, Italian, a little short but he was pretty jacked. Turns out he was 40, but I wasn't discouraged. He didn't have a wedding band on so I gladly took his number down. Over the next few weeks we text back and forth, sent each other pictures (no nudes) and finally picked a day for the first date. It was amazing; he was such a gentleman and took me everywhere I wanted to go. At the end of the night he walked me home and had a PG kiss, maybe PG-13. The following week I barely heard from him, which made me feel like I blew it, another one gone. But, I was wrong that Friday he text me and sent me the infamous DICK PIC. I was horrified! I don’t like when any man sends me random nudes, especially after the first date! Like thank you for clearly letting me know all you want is my vajay. I gladly text him a LOL, and never spoke to him again. No wonder why he was 40, single, with no kids. Lesson learned: do not let the age gap exceed 7 years.

                My friends say I’m single because I’m picky and I have unrealistic standards. Oh I’m sorry I didn't realize being single, with no kids, and financially stable were outlandish. I guess since everybody is shouting CHIVALRY IS DEAD maybe I am a tad bit unreasonable.  Maybe I am a little shallow when it comes to physical features, but you won’t be swept off your feet by someone who clearly doesn't take care of themselves. I mean seriously, why is it okay that men expect us to have these wifely qualities when they will not tdo the bare minimum. Are you kidding?????? Clearly I’m no expert but you’ve got to give a little to take a little.

So maybe relationships shouldn’t be my priority, I have a cat, my vibrator works just fine…what more do I need? Ha, WRONG! Nothing is shittier than when every other week another college friend is engaged, married, just moved in with her boyfriend, or is in a new relationship. Excuse me while I drown myself in Pinot Grigio and watch Julia Robert’s movies. Ok, it isn’t a life crisis but it makes me wonder what the heck is wrong with me? Why do all my friends have amazing partners and I keep meeting losers?

                As the resourceful individual I am I turned to Google for an answer; help for single black women. Honestly, most of the stuff I read online about why Black women are single left me absolutely confused. I wasn’t sure if I should never date black men, be less of a bitch, or lower my standards. I mean whoever writes these columns for us are just not meeting the mark. So I took my love life into my own little hands and encountered the most interesting men/ women ever. Thus, I’d like to call this all the situations young single women should probably avoid or navigate extremely carefully.

They say you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince, and maybe that’s true. I guess only time will tell. This post grad dating life is like finding a needle in a hay stack, impossible and frustrating. However, I’ll keep my hopes up, wine glass filled, and standards high because somewhere out there is my soul mate. As sappy as that sounds, I’m still a hopeless romantic despite my track record. Among all these frogs, there must be a prince.

Creep on!!

Back in Black

make a gif at gickr.com

This is what Clarkson University students look like during Finals week!!!

Today all of my friends asked me "is this your goth look"..."where is the funeral?"

As I have said before I just love wearing black. I am a huge fan of goth music and metal of course, but this black ensemble sort of just happened.

The one compliment I did receive was "you remind me of Madonna in the Papa don't preach video"

Beggers can't be choosers!

Skirt: Thrifted by my beautiful friend Ify

Top: Old

Shoes: Minnetonka

Jewels: Thrifted

Finals && Holiday Sweaters

It's that time of year again; the time when Christmas music is on the radio and students are freaking out over final exams. As much as I do not enjoy Christmas music I must say it is a nice distraction from all the work I have to do. However, there are only two weeks left of the semester so I am excited to go home for the holidays.

I bought this skirt and sweater on Black Friday. The skirt was only $7! Talk about bargain shopping. I am not usually a huge fan of Black Friday and crowded malls, but I must say it has it's perks. As for this sweater it is so colorful and fun and not something I would normally wear. Since Christmas is coming up I thought it would be nice to invest in a perfect holiday sweater, something without obvious cheesy holiday references. This was the perfect score, and the fact that it was $17 was a bonus! Please ignore the snow boots it has been ridiculously cold and constantly snowing. I am a firm believer in being warm and comfy, not chic and freezing.

Creep On!!

Sweater: Old Navy

Skirt: The Gap

Tights: Hue

Boots: The North Face

Instagram Beauty Part 2

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

I hope you all have a loving and fun filled holiday!

Be chic, be merry, and eat lots of turkey.

I am currently back in NYC to spend the holiday with my family. What are your plans for this wonderful holiday? What are you thankful for?

 

Well on a a more fashionable note I have changed my hair yet again. Since I am a college senior it is time to begin the job search and become more professional. Therefore, I have gone to back to black hair. I must say I am actually really happy to have black hair again I totally missed it! A little beauty secret is when you dye your hair jet black it hides split ends and automatically gives you hair a more healthy look.

 

How do I look??

 

 

If there is one thing I am thankful for is my fraternity; my family away from home. We have endured so many struggles and challenges lately but have grown closer everyday. I can honestly say I love them from the bottom for my heart and appreciate every second I spend with them. Thank you God for blessing me with my Alpha Kappa Psi Delta Chi family.

 

 

 



Halloween

Its been a tough time for me lately....mourning and grief are hard feelings to deal with it. Thus I do apologize for my lack of posts and reading of all your amazing blogs. I am just busy trying to make many memories with my friends and cherish them. I hope all is well with everyone

Creep On!!

Senioritis

Everything I am wearing is from the Gap.

Ify wears an Asos jumpsuit and Urban Outfitters sandals.

Lets begin with I am the laziest girl you will ever meet. It is safe to say that I already have a serious case of senioritis, especially when there is such great weather. With all the homework and fraternity meetings I have, it is challenging to find the time to take pictures. Lately, I have been just grabbing whatever and throwing it on in an attempt to make it to class on time. Last week I actually fell out of my bed as I was rushing to make it to class. On top of that I did not get the job in the writing center, which crushed my ego. I guess you could say last week in a nutshell was just..SHIT. I work very hard to improve my writing skills, and to have someone tear my resume and cover letter to shreds basically killed me. Criticism is not all bad, so enough whining.

It sucks that you can't really see the print on my top, it is one of my favorites! I don't have anything fashion related to say for this post. My mind is currently filled with Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes and the effects of Biofuels on the economy. Gahhh save me!?

PS I love Frank Ocean and Pyramids is one of my faves...do you like the video?

First Saturday

Bonjour!

It is my first weekend back at school, and I must admit I am totally homesick.

However, today was quite fun. The  town I attend school hosts an event called First Saturday and the surrounding schools perform, host tables, stores give discounts, etc. It was the perfect opportunity to take my mind off all the negative emotions I have been harboring and enjoy the weather with my friends. I also ran into a girl with AMAZING HAIR. I love people who take risks and have cool, colorful, fun style. The young lady I met had multi color hair and I totally fell in love with her. I pretty much ambushed her and begged her to let me take her picture. Usually, I don't meet many people here with such fun style and personalities, it was so refreshing to meet someone so nice and bold. Anywho, we ended our day with the local thrift shop. It is so cozy and loveable. They always have such unique items. I purchased a ring and a necklace that I will share later on. Also, they have really cool knick knacks and photos that I want to go back and purchase. That is the beauty of attending school in a small town are the little mom and pop shops that house such cute and unique items.

 

Creep On!!

My clothing and shoes are from the Gap.